João Bastos

The Importance of Accepting Your Moment

It seems like I only write one article per year (laughs) and that's kind of how it went.

My initial idea was to write technical articles, I think it's very important and I intend to start, but I always ended up writing about my impressions of the world. First it was about knowledge, what we know and seek to learn, then it was about a crucial moment in my life which was the loss of my mother and what I learned from her.

After more than 1 year since that second article, I come to talk about my grieving process and self-knowledge during this period.

During this time I kind of slowed down my life, grief is a slow and painful process, and I really decided to stop many things I was doing. In the beginning, I wanted to do everything, read, study, take courses, exercise, everything that wouldn't make me think too much, to try to escape the pain of loss, but that was making me feel even worse.

So I decided to stop everything really, my focus was to continue working, improve my performance, because in the beginning it dropped a lot, and focus on myself and my family, so we could get through that moment. But deep down I knew the blow was bigger for me, I almost went back to a depressive state, but time and this pause helped me.

In this time I grew less than I wanted, evolved less than I wanted, but I needed to recover, I lost a good part of my will to live, to grow, when I lost my mother, that's hard, but it's a truth that I had to accept and reframe. And part of this reframing was thinking about my mother's life, how she always did what she believed in and wanted to do, and knowing that she guided her life this way, she wouldn't want me to do exactly the opposite of what she believed for herself, and that I also believe for myself, I was just in a moment of reconstruction.

I find it interesting, returning to the point of wanting to share technical knowledge, but ending up sharing about life. I know there's a lot of technical knowledge out there, many very good people sharing and I intend one day to join this group, but I know that this type of subject is unique, each one has their own life impressions and experiences, and maybe someone who reads this could be helped in some way, knowing that sometimes it's necessary to slow down, accept your moment and move on, things end up readjusting and we'll end up being fine at some point, the thing is to have patience and not lose hope for better days.

Anyway, I accepted my moment, my grief, learned a bit more about myself and I'm in a process of maturing, projecting what lies ahead, writing here is one of the ways to mark this "restart". So, accept your moment, learn what you have to learn, persist and fight, a winner is not made only in victories, it is made throughout their journey until reaching the victories, it is made of all the learnings and above all, in your perseverance and hope that everything is possible, even if it's not easy.